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I don’t hate cooking, am only lazy with it and this is why I need an App

What are you doing here? Dad will always yell at me anytime he comes back home and sees me in the kitchen. My dad is one strong believer that men do not have to worry about knowing or learning how to cook. One of the experiences still sticks around.

One beautiful evening I followed the aroma of a fish stew and traced my way to the kitchen. As usual, mum obliged to give me the head of the fish for a test. I sat down to do justice to it and behold dad appeared from nowhere. Between my mum and I, it took him about 20 secs to figure out who to smash his anger on. It was a 20 secs of grave silence and of great thought. I never knew what was going to come out of it but all I knew was that the plate of fish head wasn’t mine again. A strong hand pulled my ear and in the next hour I woke up on a bed. My ear was still hurting and I was just wondering how long it was pulled. Am sure dad didn’t say anything to mum but personally I disliked the kitchen and didn’t want to visit again. Mum actually didn’t bother. But we paid the price.

Myself and dad was home alone. Mum had traveled with my younger sisters (I guess). We were enjoying ourselves watching the television (The men things). It was afternoon and guys were hungry. Mum had already told us where the soup was. So all we needed to do was to warm it, make iba for ourselves and have a jolly afternoon but no that wasn’t the case.

Hello kitchen I said, “You have some visitors”. The stern look from my dad was enough to kill the hunger. In fact I nearly told him I wasn’t hungry any longer. We stared at everything in the kitchen and eventually started making the iba. The drama was so much that dad got frustrated and called a neighbor to come and help. “The neighbor saved us”

Well dad is enjoying his life, his wife is doing a great job to fill his stomach (for the way to the heart of a man is his stomach). He doesn’t need any app to learn how to cook, he has cooking encyclopedias with him. But I have since left home and the consequences of disliking the kitchen still looms around.

Truth is dad’s attitude wasn’t intended to spoil his boy. His intentions were great. To build the man in me, to make me think and act like a man. To teach me that men source for the family and fed the house not to eat fish head. He succeeded because early enough I became a man. But his actions failed me somewhere.

I can remember my first attempt to cook away from home; I made a call to my younger sister for direction on how to fry a stew. Well to the glory of the lord, I succeeded in not burning down the house. Even dad will now call to ask me how am surviving with food. One day I had to remind him of how much he never wanted to see me in the kitchen. I quietly told him “You made me lazy with cooking”. We laughed over it and he encouraged me to go and learn.

Learning is not the issue, but the time to submit to the process is the matter. Nevertheless, technology came to the rescue. YouTube videos are my cooking friends but they require internet data which sometimes are not available. I have also gotten gifts of e-books on cooking from concerned friends but that’s not enough. Am still not a good cook. Right now I am looking for a mobile application that has offline video features, suggest recipe and help me make orders of the recipes from my favorite stores.  More so if there is a robot that can do that, please let me know.

With the fast evolution on web, Semantic Web and Linked Data will play a great role in curating video contents of what I want to cook per time. Same technology will also suggest recipes for the said dish and will auto suggest online grocery stores near me where I can order them and get them delivered in less than 30 minutes. The system should also give me the leverage of rating the stores which can be suggested to my friends via social networks.

Note: The videos will have to be accessible offline meaning the app should have the capability of saving them temporarily on my local device and auto delete them after 24 hours depending on my preferred settings.

I think the fact that I am lazy at cooking or even learning the art is just a personal and an outrageous excuse to avoid it. What has cooking done to me?

The sad part is that cooking is a wonderful skill to have. Not only does it save you time and money on food, it can also contribute to better health, bring you closer to friends and family, and be a great creative outlet for stress.

You don’t have to love cooking, but knowing the basics and feeling competent in the kitchen can open a world of opportunity to improve your quality of life.  Cooking should be fun and at the every least every guy should learn how to cook, it will pay sometime. You wouldn’t be needing a robot like I do now.

I will like to know what you think.

  • Don Jajo

    Quite funny… Hehe. Am a good cook, come hire me 🙂 I charge $50 per cook 😀

    I think you made a little typo error here “Mum had already told us where the soap was”.. You mean soup? 😉 🙂

    • @Don jajo will the $50 buy the recipes. If that amount can also do a repository of your cooking method that can be accessed anytime any day then no problem. Better idea, imagine of the app can also suggest cooks near me for hire… #JustThinking.

      Thanks for the observation on the typo. I will fix it

      • Don Jajo

        No, I choose my time!
        Ye ideas run through our heads but some people are just too obsessed by culture. Imagine someone gave me his ATM card to withdraw and pay it into his friend’s account, I told him “do you know I can make this transfer as we are sitting here?? Just that it’s gonna deduct 100 naira from your account” he said “NO!!! I want the manual way since its not gonna deduct 100 naira from his account”.. And this man also gave me a transport fare of 100 naira.. Please tell me, why are we running from tech? :/ 🙁

        • No @Don Jajo. As a user of your product I say what is most convenient for me as such I expect my service provider to meet my expectations.
          Most people think technology is expensive and porous but there have been a lot of advancement over the years that makes it most convenient. Truly we need to break away from culture to explore the full possibitilities of tech and innovation. For me tech still exits at the top yet to get to grassroot. Still looking for my cooking aid app

          • Don Jajo

            Lol, sorry I don’t have your cooking aid app #passingBy… 😛

  • Chioma Agwu Mba

    Lol,can’t help laffin. Propounding the theory of bringing robots to do the cooking will just be a ” lazy women in the kitchen” liberation party n trust me families will fall apart every split second in the wake of this development being African men love a healthy dose of feminine attention to their meals. As much as i identify with your plight, That’s one part of artificial intelligence i do not subscribe to for the sake of our home fronts n dts why passionate about celebrating home meals. I’lld advice u just do ur best to learn how to prepare at least a poison free food, enough to take care of ur stomach infrastructure.

    • Haba @Chioma this wasn’t the perspective I was coming from. I absolutely think every young woman who aspires to build a home should be a good cook. Meanwhile my submission is the availability of an expert tutor that can teach people and not to take the place of any human.

  • SoftCrea8ors Inc.

    Well, I strongly believe the development of such application will go a long way in helping lazy ones like you in the kitchen. (lol). So, My team will look into the matter to see if there is a way we can help you. But for now, I suggest you get your self the already existing robot (a wife) *tongueOut*

  • HBD Dr.Becky Enenche

    ROTFLMHO right now. Well, my own Dad is a great cook who taught me most of African (Nigerian) dishes I know to prepare today. In your case though, I suggest you get already existing cooking app (soulmate/wife) with that, you won’t have to bother yourself with the App. But, I will love that such app be developed sha to help brush my cooking skill cos I haven’t cooked real food in a long while (covers face)

    • @Sandra Thumbs up to your Dad. I really do not why you guys think this app is a woman. No! but in all sense of it, even women will need such solution because its not just aiding cooking, it is also a market place for food recipes.
      Imagine when you dare try a Chinese food, the app will leverage on semantic web to pull all videos and will auto suggest the recipes and the stores near you. Payment will be seamless. Sure you will like it. Meanwhile enjoy your Indomie.

  • Omolara Daramola Ajayi

    Hmm, I saw these on facebook and i can’t help but keep laughing, well well am not a guy and I don’t have time thinking on what to cook that will suit both hunger and my appetite (lol), so i think that app will surely do a nice job helping out…..*atleastNotLikeICan’tcook*

    • Emm @OmolaraDarams who is contesting your cooking expertise? Not after you have cooked for a family of over 200 people.

  • Nice thoughts… But seriously??? a mobile app for cooking? Hmm, I think i have heard that somewhere. maybe you should do something about it…

    • @graceesedeke:disqus. The fact that you have heard this somewhere else validates my suggestion. Am just throwing an idea up in the air. If I don’t see it any time soon, I may try my hands on it.

  • Funmi O.

    This App will be great, from my perspective, and this is not because you totally lack culinary skills Kalu…hehehe. Great cooks will benefit too, even if it only affirms what they already know. But who knows, they could come across a totally new recipe, or an upgraded version of an old one. I love to look at pictures of food (yes I’m a foodie), so i’ll love it!

  • Austine

    Well, for me, I’ll advise you subscribe to an eatery. They have the app u need, all u need to do is sit and tell the waiter, waitress or attendant, how to manipulate the app to give ur required output. LOL. Hope my answer was helpful.

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